10 Ways to Deal With Negative Thinking, Panic and Paralyzing Fears

I recently heard from a friend who had been laid off at the newspaper she worked at because of the faltering economy. She didn't have many job leads and her motivation was at an all-time low. She felt that there was nothing more frightening than being a writer in an uncertain job market.

Panic and fear quickly took over; where would she go from go from there?

How would she pay her bills?

How would she cope with uncertainty?

Her mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and she began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze her into stagnant ground forever.

As she began to realize what a toll her predicament was leaving her in, it became clear to her that she needed to take action and do something to get herself out of the hole she was in.

Once she sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing her dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and she was on a roll!

Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.

The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.

Reading through them should help you gain some perspective into your particular situation:

1. Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong

Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you're having to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were.

It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.

Take some time to get in touch with those feelings.

The night my friend got laid off she drove home, fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes.

Then she called me.

I got her to get up, take a long shower, change into some comfortable clothes, and then she spent some time sat in front of the television watching 'Friends'.

Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be. But focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.

2. Take a DEEP BREATH!

Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it.

Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus.

Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.

3. Organize your home, organize your life

Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have?

If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it.

There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it.

So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way.

You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.

4. Surround yourself with positive people

Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive.

Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.

However:

5. Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism

Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus.

Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it.

Take charge of your life again.

6. Have someone objective to talk to

When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful.

In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.

7. Keep a journal of your progress

Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.

8. Get out of the house!

Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.

9. Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you

Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like fishing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings for local organizations?

These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.

10. Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE!

Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, nothing about my friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had she not kept herself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety.

Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do.

So get your coat, get your shoes, get your smile and go out into the world!

Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.

All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stay motivated

The Truth About Jealousy

This article will not take up too much of your time, but will be very helpful in your daily life. What you are going to read is important in regards to the very controlling and confusing issue that so many women are challenged with every day, for some every single minute of their day. In this particular part of the jealousy series, you will learn what jealousy feels like and just how serious and captivating an emotion it can be. The next article will talk more about dealing with jealousy and how one can actually get control of it.

In the next few minutes you will learn what and how a woman feels when she is stuck in this very real and controlling jealous emotion.

It has been proven that many women are not even able to identify this confusion of thoughts that they are suffering from. A very big part of healing and winning these battles of jealousy is in identifying your enemy. In this situation the enemy is the jealous emotion that results from a much deeper issue that may or may not be obvious to its victim. You will hear more about that in a bit.

Through research and in speaking with many women every day through the womensselfesteem.com, jealousy seems to be a very big issue that has them in such a downward spiral that they cannot find a way to get hold of it.

One of the main causes for this negative emotion, "jealousy" stems from a time in a persons life when an emotional wound is created, which severely attacks their safe world or in other words their feelings of inner securities. These insecurities will seriously affect a woman's self-esteem, which will in turn result in feelings of low self-worth, lack of a self-respect, and mistrust. These emotional wounds can be caused from several types of abuse or trauma such as, physical, psychological or an over-restrictive/dominated childhood. If a child is sexually abused, then that child's security is threatened through the fact that she trusted the abuser and almost always grows up feeling that they were at fault for the abuse. This also rings true in an adult life, especially if the victim truly trusts and sees her abuser as almost," God" like. When a child is psychologically abused, they usually live a life of demeaning name calling or belittling, again this does happen to adults in a trusting relationship. The over-restrictive or dominating upbringing begins at an early childhood and then follows through into adulthood. Each and every one of these abuses that you have just have just heard about are definite cuts that eventually turn into deep emotional wounds.

These wounds will send a person into a prison, a prison of fear and weakness that they will carry throughout their lives if they do not learn to identify them and deal with them and strengthen their inner self. So many women search for answers to solve this scrambled up problem that they can feel inside of themselves, always coming up with a 0. They tend to look outside of themselves and that is the mistake that they are making. So many jealousy issues come from within.

The human brain is set up of two minds, which allows two ways of thinking, one being positive and one being negative. Unfortunately if a person is somehow mistreated or loses a trust as you have heard about earlier through my thoughts, at any time in their lives, it tends to weaken their ability to maintain a balance between the two. This is when they will fall prey to certain triggers that will ignite the fuse that leads to jealousy. You may be wondering what triggers are, they can be anything from a memory of your past, a smell, a persons laughter, a picture, another women, a feeling of being left alone, or even a look from a partner. There are many different types of triggers that will set off negative emotions. In this series of articles you will learn about relationship triggers and how they set off your jealous emotions.

Negative relationship triggers are definite causes, which happen when a relationship fails due to mistrust issues caused by infidelities or pornography addictions by a present or past partner, and are left unresolved, which unfortunately will follow them into every relationship, if she does not stop and take hold of her issues.

Jealousy is not just a word that can be ignored or excused. It is a word to be feared because it is fear that creates this negative feeling. Have you ever noticed how jealousy changes your relationship from happy to devastate in just seconds? It will feel like something that you would not wish on your worst enemy.

The negative emotions that are hidden behind this word jealousy will tear your trust apart letter by letter, and rearrange it until it spells deception, betrayal, even hate. Theses words will turn you into a paranoid living creature, hiding from reality. Reality is truly jealousy's enemy. It avoids its enemy as quickly as it replaces the positive thoughts that you once had in its place. It is strong enough to take control of your mind and direct it into thinking that someone you dearly trust and love has turned into another being, a being that is cheating on you, lusting for another, watching pornography behind your back, lying to you when you ask a direct question, twisting everything you say so that you come out looking like you are delirious and they will laugh at you when you cry out for help. It will tear your guts apart until you feel like you are going to vomit and it will make your head swirl with uncertainty. Jealousy can speed up your breathing quicker than a exercise machine, which in turn will send your heart racing into turmoil. It is a total body trauma. It can make your body break out into a sweat so fast that it will make rain look slow. If you have ever had even one minute of these threatening feelings, you know exactly what I am trying to explain here.

This negative emotion will make your mind fear abandonment, ones biggest fear in a relationship are to be replaced or abandoned. This fear alone is a very strong trigger of jealousy. This fear will imprison you and force you to suffocate or guard what's yours, until that person can no longer be a victim to your jealousy. It will drive you to feel a deep need to control another's thoughts and actions. To allow jealousy in your mind to the point of this kind of control, is to fall victim to an," attachment prison" or an addiction. In this attachment prison you are the weaker element of the partnership or relationship, your need to feel attached will ruin your sense of security and your self-esteem. A very good example of an attachment prison is when you fear with all of your senses to let your partner out of your site, not even to go to the corner store or to work for fear he may see someone that you would deem as a total threat.

Jealousy is like a drug. Once it gets into your veins, you are no longer coherent or independent in your thinking. You have now just become a dependent thinker, dependent on jealousy and its power. To have such a need is also equivalent to an addict needing a drug. Your addiction is your jealousy, your high is the adrenalin that your body creates through its fears, only this is not positive adrenalin; it is a pure negative adrenalin rush. The only antidote to combat this addiction is through positive steps that will strengthen your ability to take back your control and find a freedom from that attachment prison.

Jealousy will not rest until through you, it has created a frustrating and unbearable environment that puts you in the position in your relationship as your own worst enemy. In effect you become the attacker that you have been trying to run from. You are now jealousy! You are the cause of this turmoil that is being thrown to your outside world; an outside world that cannot possibly feel your pain; nor can they help you escape it. But they will look down on you in their confusion. You are all alone in this prison. You are the only one that can feel this pain, the only one that feels this need to control and hide from the world. You will find yourself being driven by negative thoughts every turn you make.

Have you ever been on a negative thought rollercoaster? If you ever have, you will understand what I mean when I say negative thoughts; negative thoughts that will not let you think rationally. If anything, they will work very hard at confusing your positive thinking. You will spend countless hours talking to yourself trying to get out of insecure feelings and you will end up right back feeling the same negative control that jealousy has over you.

Jealousy will rob you of sleep hour after hour. When your mind cannot sleep, it becomes weak and that is exactly what strengthens the negative thoughts that will feed jealousy and keep it controlling you. These thoughts will turn over in your head until they are locked into a place of negative non realities. This is when you begin to believe in things which seem surreal. An example of this non reality is, let's say, you're walking past your partner as he is watching television. A commercial is on. There is a young scantily dressed woman on the commercial. Your immediate reaction is fear. You fear that at that very minute he is lusting her or worse, wishing you were her. As I said non- real negative thoughts = jealousy.

This negative emotion is extremely careful to not allow your self-esteem to strengthen. It will turn your thoughts into a comparison mode instantly when it feels threatened. When it can put your mind into doubt of it's worth, it has total control. It will continue to control and force thoughts of being undeserving, not worthy, unintelligent, boring, self-less, non-appealing, even just plain ugly. It is a true negative powerful and destructive emotion that will not only control your thoughts but will also alter your desire to love. It will make you hide in safe, loveless corners and never allow another person into your heart. To allow a person into your heart would mean that you would be putting yourself at risk of falling victim to jealousy and all the horror that it creates and feeds on. So, you at this stage begin to set up protective walls, separating you from ever being hurt, but also putting a wedge in between you and your partner. Your choice, if you choose to stay in negative thinking, is to live a life alone.

When you have allowed it to weaken your thoughts to the point of delusional thinking, your mind will only see what will feed this negative emotion. All of your rational characteristics will be taken over by irrational thoughts and reactions. Everything that you thought you could control is now uncontrollable. Nothing is what it seems, while this jealousy emotion has you imprisoned behind its bars of negative and low self-worth thoughts.

I truly believe that being controlled by jealousy is similar to being in captivity. Your mind will get so conformed to that space that you're allowing, that you will learn to depend on it. You will feel safe only in that space. All of your knowledge of what's outside of that captive space has been hidden away into a very dark deep place in your mind. It is all you feel that you can control, not even realizing how little control you do have; again equivalent to an addiction.

What captivity and jealousy have in common is that once you allow your mind to be controlled or captivated by the overpowering emotion: jealousy, your mind will react as it would in a captive situation. Both jealousy and captivity hold your mind and reshape it to conform to its negative demands. A person in captivity eventually starts to depend on the person that's holding them captive. You start to depend on the feelings that you're getting from being captive by your jealous emotion. Jealousy becomes you, and you become jealousy. Together the duo team that you have allowed to control your thoughts will now destroy anything that is real. You will now live together in an unreal negative world of deception.

You will live and breathe the feelings of fear, worry and deception. You will not rest one single minute. Your mind will constantly be filled with disorder and accusations and," what ifs". At this point your ability to trust and feel secure with your partner will no longer be available to your mind, to your negative mind that is; the negative mind that you have allowed to take place of your once positive mind. Your innate desire to protect you and your reason for being are now at risk in your mind. You need to control everything and everything about your partner, right down to his every move. You need to take ownership in order to feel safe. With this control, then and only then can you feel safe from jealousy? Again the," attachment prison" takes over. This prison created by jealousy to keep you in its power and control. You're first breathing thoughts are livelihood and your future are based on attachment and acceptance. To lose that would be like dying a very slow death. Under the control of jealousy and its attachment prison you will fight to survive at any cost. You will be on guard even in your sleep, to notice even the simplest sign of abandonment or loss. Hence, the sleepless nights, haunted by the enemy: jealousy, captivated by the attachment prison again.

This is what you already know of jealousy. It is not fun. It is not a happy place. It is however very destructive and it will destroy your life if you continue to allow it to control your thoughts. As I mentioned earlier in this article, your mind has two sides, one being negative and one being positive. You have the ability to choose.

I have brought this part of the jealousy series to you because of how important it is to identify with the truth of jealousy. It is as real as you are sitting there listening to this. There is a way out and a way to free your mind of this prison of negative thoughts. Through my next article on "The Truth of Jealousy", you will learn steps and strategies that will help to strengthen your mind so that you may win the battle of negative thinking.

dorothyl@womensselfesteem.com

How to Greatly Improve Your Manifestations

Chances you are familiar with: The Power of Intention, Think and Grow Rich, The Secret, The Law of Attraction, or Ask and it is Given. Let's face it, these methods for manifesting your desires into reality teach much of the same methods, through different angles.

What makes up their bulk of their messages (instead of focusing on the important mystic essentials for one to directly change reality to their will) are hours of self-help, spiritual inspiration, and tools for personal and inner transformation. May just be me, but that sounds like another subject matter. Yet supposedly these are the real issues behind your ability, or lack thereof. It boils down to surrendering negative thoughts, re-remembering positive elements of life, and going through self-therapy until the results in your life follow the changes in your outlook. Once you can hold a positive outlook, the petty psychology that fueled what manifested in your life until now, will fade away, replaced by positive changes. Some schools even use generalizations in quantum physics to support their methods. The bottom line is by changing your thoughts, you will change your reality.

Why then, is it so impossible to achieve for the mass majority!?

If you are like thousands of others, you may be thinking sure it sounds logical, but why (despite how much you understand positive thinking), behind all the applied optimism, does it feel like everything is still a luck of the draw situation? That much like a domino effect, your destiny seems to have been set in motion by cosmic dice thrown at the moment of your birth? Pretty fatalistic right? What if there was a way to alter those dominoes? That is what Manifesting or co-creating is all about right?

It doesn't matter how many authors out there can explain away the logic, it doesn't automatically make them qualified to teach how-to achieve it. Sure, in order to teach how, you must do so from experiential success, but the other side is understanding the mind-state (not just the intentions) of the student learning it. So let's get to the heart of this article.

Most people automate. They are not in control of their thoughts. Hindu yogi's call it the monkey mind. The Higher Balance Institute calls it your "Babbler". The bottom line is, if you don't know how to control it, then it won't matter how much you grasp, your brain will still play thoughts like a broken record. No matter how clearly you've traced where your negativity originated from in childhood, figuring that out will only change "the content" your babbler uses to dilute your focus while manifesting.

Put positive and negative aside. If your mind is undisciplined, your attempts at manifesting won't generate enough "fuel" or energy to alter the cosmic dominoes beyond your awareness. But, if you somehow had enough fuel to "broadcast" your intentions out to God or the Universe, call it what you will, I guarantee it would add the missing link!

So how can you build this kind of fuel? There are several easy ways. No, I'm not trying to trick you, they really are easy if you put one daily foot in front of the other.

1. Learn how to control your thoughts. Learn an effective meditation and make it a daily practice. Never mind enlightenment (for now), just train your thought control. (make sure it's not a mantra technique, you don't want any triggered spoken or structured thoughts at all) I highly recommend the methods that focus on a chakra. Once you can hold a state of "non-thought" for 1 minute, you are VERY close to your goal.

2. Use this new skill in your manifestation sessions. Relax into a clear state of "nonthought", and instead of a ton of babbled-thoughts representing your intention, or representing what you are asking God, you will use your new meditative skill to isolate the emotional texture (behind the words) of what it is you desire. It cuts to the chase and amplifies the fuel!

3. Hold that emotion! Focus solely on broadcasting the feeling to the universe. Then broadcast it to the deepest part of your heart and mind. Use this fuel technique to program yourself too. Our bodies are electrical, programmed from birth by reality itself. This works far better than spoken or 'babbled' affirmations.

Having more fuel makes all the difference. But if you still have an undisciplined mind, just forget about it. Sure, your desires have an emotional fuel in themselves, but if your mind can only last 5 seconds before another thought comes in diluting it, it basically just evaporated whatever fuel was building.

Train your non-thought skill. Use it to enhance your manifestations and achieve the success you know you've earned. That's Direct Manifestation!

Matt Struve

Higher Balance Institute offers tools for meditation, spiritual development, enhanced intuition and sensory awareness in the world. Our mission is simple - to awaken the world one mind at a time. For more information and a free 1 hour Q&A Audio recording on Manifestation visit us at http://www.higherbalance.com

Is Workplace Conflict Destructive or Creative?

Whenever you work with people, conflict is inevitable. The tension created by daily conflict either results in wasted time, decreased productivity, and poor decisions or the sort of internal competition that pushes each individual to do their best, if for no other reason that convince their coworkers that they can do it.

This inevitable conflict is either destructive or creative. The destructive conflict is toxic to relationships and hurts people and organizations and this is the one that needs managing. In my experience creative conflict seems to be cultural in nature. It's how the people themselves react and address each other and the situations they face together.

If you've ever seen "American Chopper" on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean by creative conflict. There is a lot of yelling going on. These guys are not shy about sharing their opinions when they disagree with one another. If you were a stranger who walked into their shop you might think WWIII had broken out.

In fact, that is how they relate to one another - there is no ambiguity, they tell it like it is in the moment. Imagine how much more they accomplish because they use the tension to air their different opinions, right now - and then get on with it. It's possible that this is just a TV show and these guys have nice quiet meetings in the board room, listening to various committee reports, before the speak up, but that's not likely. I bet they are who we see them as being.

In three decades working with family businesses I have seen dozens and dozens of companies who harness conflict creatively, and in so doing get the most out of everyone as well as optimum results overall. They don't waste time on what's not working just because it was the bosses idea. They stop what they're doing and point out the other person's mistake then show them how to fix it. Nothing and no one or their opinion is sacred - it's all about getting the job done.

Sadly I have seen experts try to get them to change their behavior, be more polite to one another and offer more politically correct input in an ever more constructive manner. In other words they (the experts) want other people to be more like them.

So instead of helping their clients manage the destructive conflict that exists, they are offering suggestions on how to fix what isn't broken.

I am talking about the conflict that distracts employees and managers from otherwise productive use of their time. Studies reveal that up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict. And that 42 percent of their time is spent reaching agreements with others when conflicts occur.

Sometimes destructive conflict is simply because the people don't like each other. In the universe of family owned companies sometimes brothers, sisters, cousins, and in-laws are thrown together in ways none of them like. Conflict is the only way they have of displaying the frustration they feel about the situation they're in.

It is no wonder that an estimated 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships like these. Between employees who are not happy with each other - not from deficits in their training, skill, or motivation.

The most common way that destructive conflict shows up is about "how" a certain task should be accomplished. I met a farmer once whose son (age 50) refused to do things the way he wanted them done. He sited an example by driving me on the back of his four wheeler (you could not get there any other way) to a field that illustrated his point.

He and his father before him had always plowed the field north to south - his son was plowing it east to west. I am not making this up. It didn't have anything to do with soil erosion, conservation, or the environment - he was doing it this way against his dad's wishes, just to get his goat. And it was working.

I bet you can think of things at your company that are being done a certain way because that's the way they've always been done. And if you're the one who wants to change history, good luck!

Destructive conflict about how things are being done, what things are being done, and whether or not a certain thing should even be done can paralyze the organization.

Wasted time arguing about things that don't matter, an unwillingness to consider another person's point of view based on their experience, and the blame game when the results are in all cry out for a self-help process you can use to manage your differences so that all conflict is creative.

The end result of a successful self-help mediation process is that you (as a group) turn together and focus on the challenge or opportunity you all face. You see the problem as the stumbling block and not your coworker.

Self-help mediation tools allow two individuals the opportunity to discuss their assumptions about the other person's motives. In many conflicts the simple process of testing these assumptions face to face using active listening skills will resolve the issue entirely, because the parties realize the conflict is simply a misunderstanding.

Self-help mediation tools pave the way for more effective decision making. Obviously decisions made under conditions of conflict are going to be inferior to decisions made when cooperation prevails. If ongoing conflict (even a low grade resistance to cooperation) is present between people who share decision-making authority, the resulting decisions are likely to be flawed by the power struggles between those people.

As business owners we know that good decisions must be based on an optimum quality and quantity of objective information. So when information is withheld or distorted by those we are depending on to provide it, the decision cannot be the best one possible.

There is now doubt, workplace conflict resolution strategies - especially those that will allow you to do it yourself - will save you money, time, energy, and enhance your workplace by helping you make better decisions, retain your best employees, and design a future course for the business everyone will actively support!

Wayne Messick's web site http://www.iBizResources.com has many additional conflict resolution articles and strategic planning resources to help you grow your business. If you are a small business advisor and want to maximize your professional and financial potential, here are the resources we are using to systematically multiply our new business, our revenues, and our client's satisfaction.

Change - The Secret to Coping

There's an old saying: "The only constant in life is change." If that's true, and I believe it is, you'd think that we'd all be quite adept at living our lives in the midst of a changing world. Yet, mention the word "change," and people get worried. Even when we seek change - in government, in law, or in our own personal lives - when the change actually occurs, we often have a difficult time adjusting to it.

The secret to understanding how to successfully cope with change is actually quite simple: It all comes down to transforming our attitude, from one of resisting change to embracing it. That's right - by changing how we feel, we can transform a negative experience to a positive one. It's even possible to move oneself from hating change to loving it!

Resistance to change is a natural result of fear, and fear is a natural response to something we perceive as threatening or dangerous in some way. Any change, even one we think we want, can have a domino effect, causing unexpected ripples of change in other areas of life, which we perceive as threatening. The key word in the last few sentences is "perceive." When we begin to think positively about something, we change our perception of it, which changes our feelings about it and, therefore, our attitudes.

Think about this: the physiological symptoms of anxiety (fear) include rapid or irregular heart rate, rapid breathing, lightheadedness, and sweating. Interestingly, these are the very same symptoms we experience when we are excited about something! Think of the last time you rode a roller coaster. If you feared the ride, you probably had all those symptoms, called it nervousness, and hated the experience. If you didn't fear the ride, you probably experienced all those symptoms, called it excitement, and had a great time. It's all a matter of viewpoint.

To change your feelings you have to change your thoughts. There are many ways to accomplish transforming your way of thinking about something. Following are just a few of these tools for taking control of your thoughts and attitudes. When trying out these techniques for the first time, start with something small - a change or event that doesn't carry a lot of emotional "charge" for you.

1) Look at the bright side.

List three or more positive outcomes that could result from this change. Be creative. Be farfetched. How could this event or change "backfire" into something great?

2) Say Yes!

You have to want to change your attitude and believe that you can change how you feel. When you feel threatened, however subtly, by an unexpected change, literally stand tall, open your arms wide, and loudly proclaim, "Yes!"

3) Embrace it.

Visualize the change coming into your life and, with it, all the positive changes you listed in step one. Imagine each of these positive events causing other good things to happen. Imagine yourself embracing this new event or change of circumstance and, if possible, physically act out the embrace as you imagine it.

Finally, to reinforce the idea that change is exciting, make a small, intentional change, every day. Eat blueberries in your cereal instead of sliced bananas. Try a yoga class instead of kickboxing. You'll begin to see how much fun change can be. And speaking of kickboxing, these tools are also great for kick-starting your creativity any time you feel stuck.

Amber Lea Starfire is an agent of change and loves to create solutions that transcend limits. Her passion is helping others realize their own creative, expressive, and physical potential by developing new ways of thinking and doing. Amber is Publisher and Editor of The Writer's Eye Magazine (http://www.thewriterseye.com), a freelance writer, professional portrait photographer, bicyclist and mother. Contact her at - http://www.amberstarfire.com

Positive Thinking For People Who Can't Think Positively

Have you tried all the positive thinking techniques but found that they just don't work? If so I'd recommend using one of the meridian energy techniques such as EFT or Chinosis.

Those allow you to focus on the reality of the situation - however good or bad it is - and use some simple techniques to change the way you feel about it.

I have to admit that I was very skeptical when I first came across them. The basic principle of focusing on something bad went against all my training as a hypnotherapist. I'd always been taught to focus on the positive. So, if someone wanted to be more confident I would help them to imagine being confident - acting confidently, their voice steady and confident and feeling relaxed about the whole situation.

In EFT though I was asking them to use phrases such as "Even though I feel really embarrassed when a stranger talks to me and I know I'm going to go bright red I deeply and completely accept myself". Then they were expected to repeat the statement. By all rights it shouldn't work. But I rapidly changed my mind as I noticed the changes in my clients' attitudes. They started off in a negative state of mind but soon changed into a more positive one and the statements changed from negative to positive.

Chinosis is different in that it doesn't need words so it's really good for those emotions where you can't express them, when you don't really know all the ins and outs of your feelings. Instead, you simply focus on a feeling and let that adapt itself into a more positive one.

I'm now a huge fan of meridian energy techniques and teach them to virtually all my clients. I can't completely explain how they work but I suggest treating them the same way that I treat electricity. I don't really know how it works but as long as I can turn the light on and see when it gets dark I don't really care. I know how to use it for my benefit and that's all I'm interested in.

You can find out more about EFT at www.emofree.com and more about Chinosis at www.chinosis.com.

Sharon Stiles uses hypnotherapy, CBT, NLP, EFT and Chinosis to help people reduce stress and anxiety and increase positivity and motivation in their personal and work lives. Her online seminar "Stress Less" at http://www.sharonstiles.co.uk/stressless gives practical and mental techniques to help reduce stress. She also offer individual sessions in Bristol, UK and by webcam.

A One Minute Meditation

Maybe learning to meditate intimidates you, and in any case it's tough to find the time for daily meditation. The solution to both problems is an easy meditation you can learn right now, that will only take a minute to do each day.

An Easy Meditation Technique

Breathing through your mouth expands your chest, but if you breath through your nose you'll notice how your abdomen extends. You see, nose-breathing causes the diaphram to pull air to the bottom of your lungs. This delivers a good dose of oxygen into your bloodstream and brain. It also tends to relax you.

Breathing through your nose is healthier, and it's the basis of this one-minute meditation. You simply close your eyes, let the tension go out of your muscles, let go of your thoughts (to the extent possible), and take four slow, deep breaths through your nose, paying attention to your breathing.

Is Meditation This Easy?

You're not likey to get you into a deep meditative state with this simple exercise. You will get benefits, though. These will almost certainly include a clearer mind and a reduction in stress.

Try to develop a "trigger" for your meditation. You can do your four breaths when you get into the car, for example, or right after lunch each day. A trigger is a place or time that reminds you, so your meditation becomes a habit.

Some may say this isn't "real" meditation, but there's nothing wrong with enjoying the relaxation you'll get from this technique. You can always pursue deeper meditation later, if you wish. In the meantime, remember that not everything has to be difficult to be of value. Why not do an easy one-minute meditation right now?

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You'll find more at http://www.SelfImprovementNow.com